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Blackout

My eyes snapped open. It was dead silent, and I could hear only my heart racing. Darkness loomed outside. A hint of moonlight peeked through my window, a hint of the light landing on my pale face. The darkness all around me was engulfing, suffocating, and I couldn’t breathe. 

I knew I had been through another one of my blackouts, the ones which happen at the queerest of times, and I cannot pinpoint why it happens. It had only started recently, with no certain pattern. I was puzzled. 

I shut my eyes. Now is not time to wonder. I was hoping for sleep.

When I awoke once more, I groaned as I realized I was late. I changed quickly then stormed out of the door. On the way out, my head was throbbing dully, and it seemed like a warning. 

At the end of the day, as I was finishing work, my phone rang. It was my girlfriend, Julienne. A warm smile crept on my face. I missed her. We had planned to saunter about at the countryside tonight, just the two of us for once. 

I love you, she whispered as we walked. I smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek. I love you too.

Then I felt a sharp pain burst through my head, and my vision went dark.

The breeze woke me. My eyes were heavy. My head was still slightly aching, but nevertheless, I stood up, wanting to find Julienne and go back home.

That’s when I saw it. Julienne, laying on the ground, throat sliced open. Blood gushed everywhere, leaving scarlet traces. Her eyes, which had shimmered like the ocean, were now lifeless and dull. Her face was frozen in an expression of utter horror and disbelief. 

I couldn’t believe what I saw. My heart was tearing apart, my chest burst with pain, my bones were weak and cackling as I fell to the ground. I stared.

She was gone. 

I screamed. I bawled. I wailed and screeched and burst into tears. Then it was fury, fury that took away every inch of logic that I had left, I was enraged. I searched around for any signs of the murderer. I was unsuccessful. Even when the police came, they could find nothing.

Over the next month, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, my heart felt empty. Because I couldn’t function anymore, my sister Catherine started taking care of me. I disliked being treated like a three-year-old, but there’s no denying that I needed it. I did want to get better as well.

So when Catherine asked me to breathe in some fresh air, I didn’t refuse.

We decided to go to the park nearby. Catherine bought two drinks and we sat down on the bench together in silence. 

Darkness slowly swallowed the crimson sunset. It was like ink, slowly expanding, and finally devouring the sky fully. Even as the darkness arrived, I made no gesture to leave. Catherine fidgeted. I sensed that she was probably uneasy in the dark, but she didn’t object.

As the shadows closed up on the sky, my vision started to get hazy and blurry. I was blinded. I was struggling to breathe. It felt like a hand squeezing all the air out of my lungs. I struggled. Catherine called my name, but I couldn’t respond. I slipped into the darkness, falling, falling.

Dull black. 

When I awoke, I was on the ground once more, body aching. I managed to haul myself up, gritting my teeth at the pain, only to re-experience my most horrid dream.

Catherine.

She was still on the bench, silent like before. The only difference was that she wasn’t breathing, and blood was rushing down her neck. It stained her white shirt, her jeans, and dripped onto the ground. 

Tears rushed down my cheek as I stood, breathless. It was like pieces shattering inside of me, sharp edges cutting my flesh, tearing me apart. I’m shattering.

I lost Julienne. Now I’ve lost Catherine. Who was it? Who’s making me miserable? Who wants me to suffer in pain and agony?

Now two years have passed. My state has only gotten worse. My depression clung onto me, ripping away any pieces of hope that dare float to the surface.

Now here I am, gazing at the mirror into my own aged face. I touch the cold mirror with my hand. 

Then I feel a jolt. It was like a tiny bolt of electricity running through my mind. Then the throbbing comes, that pain which I hadn’t experienced in two years. Flesh tearing, bone-cracking, mind-shattering. It was too much.

And before I could get dragged into the darkness once more, I saw myself in the mirror with a wicked smile, bloodthirsty eyes, and a knife in hand.

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